The Mission of Motherhood

My new favorite book is The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.  Somehow last year I discovered her blog, I Take Joy, and knew instantly that I would love her books.  I was recently telling a friend about this book and she said she wanted the cliff notes of the books I read, so I decided to record all of the things I underlined in this book to share with all of you.  I wanted to go back and read the underlined parts anyway, so here we go... (I've divided them by chapters)

Introduction

"The fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully."

Discovering The Mission of Motherhood

"A profound need of every child: to be loved, cherished, cared for, and protected by her very own mother."

"Motherhood, while demanding, is one of the most fulfilling and meaningful roles a woman can fill."

"Over the course of the last century, traditional motherhood has become a lifestyle option - and to many, a lesser option - rather than a divine calling."

Reflecting on her experience as a mother, "They were busy little sinful creatures who demanded all of my body, time, life, emotions, and attention!"

"We mothers have the opportunity to influence eternity by building a spiritual legacy in the lives of our children."

"Those foundational years in the life of a child - those same years when I sometimes thought I was accomplishing nothing - have a lasting effect on almost every aspect of the rest of that child's life."

"I am to shepherd the hearts of my children whom he providentially placed in my care."

"The mission of motherhood is strategic in providing the next generation with wholehearted, emotionally healthy, and spiritually alive adults."

"I've learned that my influence on my children is limited only by the smallness of my dreams and my lack of commitment to the Lord and his purposes."

Exploring The Meaning of Biblical Motherhood

"Destroying the foundation of the family, which was designed by God to be the stable foundation of life, is a natural place for Satan to attack."

Committing Our Lives to God's Design

The dilemma confronting so many loving, well-intentioned mothers: "When they were preparing for life, they focused on career preparation and assumed that motherhood and a home life could be tucked in around the edges."

"How we choose to focus our priorities and time in light of our children's lives will have great consequences not only for their individual futures but for the future of our society as well."

"As more women work outside the home and the two-income family is considered the norm, I believe it's become harder, not easier, to be a family."

"Discovering interesting books, beautiful music, captivating art, and fun, playful moments within an intimate loving relationship nurtures the souls of children."

"The more hours children spend away from their mothers, the more likely they are to be defiant, aggressive, and disobedient by the time they are in kindergarten." - quoted from Time magazine, April 30, 2001

"Whatever the Lord requires, he also enables."

"In the absence of biblical convictions, people will go the way of their culture."

"The cost has been great, but the sacrifice was well worth it."

Mothering With The Heart of Jesus

"It's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts."

"Attitude, I have found, makes all the difference when it comes to serving our children.  Serving with joy in the midst of messes and difficulty can only be done when we walk in the power of the Holy Spirit."

"My children didn't need me to be on top of all my chores or even to be perfect in taking care of all their needs.  What they needed was for me to be content and patient with life."

Reaching Children's Hearts for Christ

"I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by him to accomplish great things for his kingdom."

"Often our lives are so overrun with small tasks that we get caught up in checking off the list of things that need to be done and lose sight of the big picture."

"Our primary job as parents is to focus on developing their hearts - their passions, loyalties, convictions, and commitments."

"A relationship with Christ is best taught through a long-term personal relationship with someone who knows the Master, not through activities organized around lots of people in impersonal and distracting instructional situations."

"The first principle of reaching our children, then, is that we have to make the time to be with them.  And we need to be diligent to practice what we preach!"

1 Corinthians 15:33, "Bad company corrupts good morals." - "While our children are young, we need to monitor carefully the people and ideas to which they are exposed... What does this mean in practical terms?  Children tend to take in all information as truth.  Guarding our children's influences, therefore, would certainly include keeping close tabs on their media exposure - television, movies, even books.  A wise mother will do very careful research before allowing her children access to most popular entertainment."

Training Children's Minds To Think Biblically

"In order to think biblically, a person needs to know the Bible.  That's probably the most basic aspect of training our children."

"The Bible, quite simply, is the richest treasure we can offer our children, the most valuable tool for shaping their thinking."

"All of us have times when we're resistant to truth, and that includes children.  Faithful, repetitive teaching of the biblical principles of right and wrong - plus a gentle but firm insistence that the children act on those principles - is what helps to build familiar pathways in their minds so that when they are mature, they will have a reliable basis for making decisions about what is right and what is wrong."

"In a sense, I give my children their best theological education by seeking to really know and love God in my own life and living my life out before my children."

Building Loving Relationships With Our Children

"The hunger for love, affirmation, attention, and acceptance is a deep drive that will search for fulfillment until it finds it.  A child's first attachment is meant to be with its mother, so lots of loving touches and caresses from her make a difference in the child's future intellect, emotional stability, and sense of well-being.  Time and affectionate attention from a father and significant others is crucial as well."

"All the activities that keep us so busy and involved are nice but not necessary."

"Stay-at-home moms, too, can be overly busy and emotionally unavailable to their kids."

"It is important to focus on relational time as well as on activity or discipline.  All three are important, but relationship has the highest priority, because it is the foundation upon which the rest of our life with our children will stand."

"When children feel that pleasing their parents is impossible, they often reject the values and beliefs of their parents."

"Even gentle words of correction, if balanced with affirmation of a child's potential and efforts, can be encouraging, but thoughtless criticism merely stings a child's soul."

"Even then I try to keep my voice gentle and my wording constructive.  And I seek to make more encouraging comments to our children than negative in order to keep their emotional reservoirs filled with the joy and motivation that comes from knowing they're loved and appreciated."

Cultivating and Enriching Our Children's Lives

"As a garden cannot flourish without a gardener, neither can a child reach his or her potential without someone committed to careful cultivation."

"Committing to regular, specific training in manners and graciousness is all that it takes to build confidence." (in this area)

"We want to fill our home with what is true, right, honorable, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:8)  (Thinking about art, music, toys, videos, movies, computer games, etc...)

Embracing God's Call To Home-Making

"The task of building our homes into places of beauty and life that will feed the hearts, souls, and minds of our children is the mot comprehensive task to which God has called us as mothers.  We are called quite literally to be "home makers" - to plan and shape a home environment that provides our families with both a safe resting place and a launching pad for everything they do in the world."

"Each of us is called to make daily faith decisions that will determine the kind of environment that shapes our family's lives."

"It is a commitment of heart, mind, and soul to the task of subduing (making productive) a very specific part of the earth - the domain of the home.  It involves teaching minds and nurturing hearts and shaping souls, in addition to getting the rugs vacuumed and dinner on the table!"

"If I can succeed in creating a nurturing environment that speaks peace to their souls even as it helps them grow, I will feel that I have done my job as keeper of my domain."

"My purpose in organizing my household is not to live up to some external value system but to make life easier and more peaceful for the whole family."

"We also realized that for children to be influenced primarily by us, they had to spend most of their time with us."

"The strong and secure future we help to build for our children is laid by the hundreds of small deeds we do every day as we serve faithfully in our homes."

Opening Windows To God's Artistry and Greatness

"A crucial part to the mission of motherhood:  exposing our children to the power and majesty of our Creator God and encouraging them to respond with gratitude and their own creative efforts."

So many today are "rarely exposed to the natural elements that were meant to daily confront our soul with the greatness of God."

"being made in God's image means we are like him - each of us.  If he is creative, then we also have that potential - all of us."

"There are usually peaceful ways to motivate my children to do what I want them to do instead of always confronting them with harsh words and lectures."

"My goal is to touch my children's hearts with the overwhelming wonder of his presence."

Bringing God's Purposes Into Our Homes... and Beyond

"Service to others in need is an essential part of training and instructing our children in order to cultivate in them a loving and obedient heart."

"Making disciples of my children is certainly part of my view of the mission of motherhood."

"Helping our children develop a heart for God and his kingdom work must be my fundamental priority as a mother."

Finishing The Journey With Endurance and Grace

"Inadequacy, in fact, had been my familiar and constant companion, overcome only by "His strength is perfected in my weakness" choices of faith."

God gave me "instruction when I needed to learn how to build in reality what he had already placed in my heart to do."

"The mission of motherhood requires grit.  It requires perseverance.  And that often means years of repetitious and mundane tasks, years of repeating yourself, years of wondering whether anything you do or say makes a difference."

Hebrews 10:35-39...
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.  For yet in a very little while, He who is coming will come, and will not delay.  But My righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him.  But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul."

"I must choose to believe that it matters that I am choosing to be with my children and slowly build their character instead of pursuing a full-time career where the results of my labor may be more immediately tangible."

"May God's grace sustain us all in this great calling, and may we see eternity changed because of the commitments of our hearts lived out for his glory."



Sally Clarkson has raised and homeschooled four children and now travels with her husband, Clay, to speak about the importance of the family.  She has helped her husband write Educating The WholeHearted Child, which I am now reading and enjoying.  I hope these quotes offer encouragement to all moms who read them and give a desire to read the whole book.

Sincerely,
A mom with a mission

Chicken and Spinach Pasta Bake

This is a great meal to make for company or to make in the morning so that it's ready to pop in the oven for dinner.  The recipe came from Saving Money Living Life, and has been a favorite in our home since I cooked it for the first time Valentine's Day 2012.

Ingredients:
8 oz uncooked rigatoni
1Tbsp canola oil
1 cup chopped, frozen onions
1 (12 oz) pack frozen spinach, thawed and dried
3 cups cubed, cooked chicken
1 (14 oz) can Italian style diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (8 oz) container Philadelphia chive and onion cream cheese
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions:
1.  Prepare rigatoni according to package directions.
2. Saute onions in oil on stovetop until tender.
3.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
4.  Stir onions, spinach, chicken, tomatoes, cream cheese, salt and pepper in bowl until mixed.  Stir in rigatoni.
5.  Spoon mixture into greased 9 x 13 baking dish and sprinkle cheese on top.
6.  Bake covered for 30 minutes and uncovered for 5-10 more minutes.

Soul Nourishment #11

1 Corinthians 13 For Moms - blog post

Seven Basic Needs of A Husband And Wife - audio and study guide from Pastor Cliff Palmer

The Purpose of Work
"Our vocations become the arena for the Christian life, where sanctification happens."

Five Great Deals for Pastors' Wives - Carolyn Mahaney

5 ways to make the most use of our time as a pastor’s wife

Biblical Femininity In Everyday Life - Nicole Whitacre
I loved every word of this!

"Faith is savoring the supreme treasure of Christ." - John Piper


A mother's smile is the child's sun -- what can grow without the warmth of grace? - Ann Voskamp

Cravings And Conflict  - with David Powlison and C.J. Mahaney

Word Based Ministry To Women - Nancy Guthrie

Reality Mothering - Nicole Whitacre 

"My hope isn’t built on my performance but on Jesus’ righteousness." -Ann Voskamp

School Week 8 and 9 - Letters I and J

We learned these letters over a two week period, but I decided to combine them on this post to save time.  I've not been good about documenting our learning experience the last few weeks.  We've had some sicknesses, Halloween parties, and things have been busy.  Now we are gearing up for Thanksgiving and Christmas so we will take a break from the letter a week curriculum until after the new year.  We still say our letter of the week verses at the breakfast table, but we are not necessarily memorizing them since we are memorizing different verses each week for the Awana program we are involved in at church.

Letter Ii:

   "In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:6

Itchy the Inchworm was at the playground!

Itchy Inchworm crafts

Letter Jj:
   "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8

We colored Jj's and hung them in the window

The Jj books we checked out at the library

The kids enjoyed learning these nursery rhymes and coloring the pictures...

Jack and Jill video

Little Jack Horner video

Chocolate Chip Applesauce Cookies

I've heard of baking with applesauce for a healthier version, but I've never tried it because it didn't sound too good to me.  While reading the Sunny Side Up blog one day she was describing her chocolate chip cookies and how she made them for friends around the holidays and wanted to eat them all herself.  I had all of the ingredients on hand and decided to give them a try.  They turned out much better than expected.  In fact, I think they are my second favorite cookie behind Aunt Suzy's Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

Ingredients:
1 cup Crisco
2 cups sugar
2 cups applesauce
4 eggs
4 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 pkg chocolate chips

Directions:
1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2.  Mix together the sugar and Crisco.  Add eggs.
3.  Stir the applesauce and baking soda together and add to Crisco mixture.
4.  Add the rest of the dry ingredients and bake for 15 minutes.

yield: about 60 cookies

Deviled Eggs

Everyone needs a deviled egg on their plate for a holiday meal, right?  At my Pampered Chef shower right before I was married I was given a container that held deviled eggs and kept them cold.  I used it for the first time last night.  We had a Sunday School class party at church and everyone contributed to a Thanksgiving meal.  I signed up to bring squash casserole and deviled eggs, so I found Paula Deen's Traditional Southern Deviled Eggs recipe and they turned out good, so I will keep this recipe for future parties.  I still wonder where this dish got it's name.

Ingredients:
12 large eggs, hard boiled and peeled
1/2 cup mayonnaise
3 Tbsp sweet pickle relish
2 tsp mustard
salt and pepper, for taste
Paprika, for garnishing

Directions:
1.  Halve 12 eggs lengthwise.  Remove yolks and place in bowl.
2.  Mash yolks with fork and stir in mayonnaise, pickle relish, and mustard.  Add salt and pepper to taste.
3.  Fill egg whites evenly with yolk mixture.  Garnish with paprika.  Store covered in refrigerator.

yield: 24 deviled eggs

Number The Days

Making messes is what children do best.  A friend and I recently commented to one another about how we clean our homes and turn around and they are dirty again.  I have a 2 and 4 year old - she has 3 year old twins.  I know the popular quote, "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids," and I try to keep this in mind, but a dirty house stresses me out!  

Monday is my main cleaning day around here.  I do laundry, straighten, do the dishes, and things like that every day, but on Mondays I do things like clean the bathrooms, dust and vacuum, mop the floors, etc...  Why Monday?  The house is usually a wreck from the weekend and this is the only day that my 4 year old still takes a nap, so I know I can get a lot done.

Today is a Monday.  My plan was to get some Christmas decorating done, but that hasn't happened yet. (The day is not over).  I woke up at 6am (latest I've slept in a while) to the sound of little children begging for Halloween candy and a movie.  You would seriously think we deprive them of these things if you heard their pleas.  When I stumbled out of my room as my husband headed for the shower I found that the kids had helped themselves to some pumpkin muffins my MIL made for us, and had gotten some cups and filled them with water from the fridge button.  I soon realized one of them (I suspected my 2 year old) had stuffed half of his muffin in between two of the couch cushions.  So, after I ate breakfast myself and packed a lunch for my husband, the first chore marked off the list for cleaning today was taking the cushions off of our two couches and assisting my 2 year old in the process of vacuuming the crumbs.  This was a good excuse to do something that needs to be done occasionally anyway, I told myself, and Weston enjoyed feeling helpful.  I took the opportunity for positive reinforcement and let him know that he was a great helper and cleaner.  He was super proud of himself!

I then gave the kids a bath.  They like to play in there for a little while, so I started a load of laundry and swept the kitchen floor while going back and forth a few times to break up fights and remind them not to splash all of the water in the floor.

Shortly after getting them out and putting clean clothes on them for the day Weston urinated in a puddle in the kitchen floor.  I should back up and say that he is potty trained when wearing a pull-up, but for some reason when I put underwear on him he forgets to go use the potty (I know the purpose of this is for my sanctification, because I went through this same ordeal when Alivia was 2, so I have all the patience I need for these kinds of things now - ha!)  He normally doesn't wear underwear for this reason, but today when he asked me if he could, with his sweet little dimply face, I agreed (against my better judgement) because we weren't planning on going anywhere today.  I was thankful it happened on the tile kitchen floor (before I mopped) and not the carpet, and quickly cleaned it up, cleaned him up, and got him some fresh clothes to wear.

It was time for a snack.  Alivia had asked me for some V8 splash juice before her bath and I had forgotten.  I fixed both of them some juice, Alivia some spiderman cheezits, and Weston a couple of fig newtons.  Alivia finished first and was tickling Weston as he finished his juice, when all of a sudden his lid came off and juice went all over him and the floor.  Thank goodness, once again, it was on the tile floor and I had not mopped yet.  I tried to remain calm as I cleaned up he and the floor and picked out his 3rd outfit of the morning...

I let the children play together while I did the dishes, mopped the kitchen floor, wiped down the kitchen table chairs, and did another load of laundry.

It was time for lunch.  The kids and I ate sandwiches, peanut butter crackers, apples, and water, while watching Calilou - Monday is about the only day we get to watch this show and they really like it!  While I was cleaning up the kitchen from lunch I noticed Alivia crouched behind the couch and obviously doing something she knew she wasn't supposed to be doing, so I walked over there and asked her what was going on.  She didn't want to tell me, but I saw the wet spot on the rug.  Not wanting to miss her show, she had an accident.  Really!?! I thought to myself.  This hasn't happened in over a year with her.  Twice in one day?  And on a Monday?  As I sprayed and scrubbed the rug, and cleaned my daughter, and got her some clean clothes to wear I prayed aloud for patience (I do this often) and said things to myself like... stay calm, gentle and quiet spirit, children are a blessing, kind words, grace...

Monday is also when sheets get changed, so after changing the sheets on the kids beds, we read a bedtime story and went down for a nap.  Alivia and I have this new deal where she stays in her bed and is quiet for one hour of rest time and after an hour I will come and check on her.  If she is asleep I let her sleep and if she is awake I let her come out and do a box activity (explanation of that coming in a later post).  She got up to use the bathroom once while I was in the shower, but then went back down and ended up falling asleep.

I was checking my facebook messages and emails, when I came across this post a sweet friend emailed me today about parenting entitled Are You Ready To Have Kids? While reading it I was laughing so hard I cried and had to share it because it was the inspiration for this post.

Weston woke up and we went to wake Alivia up since she had been asleep for 2 hours.  They get a snack of fruit when they wake up and they both wanted apple again even though we had that for lunch.  Then they wanted a banana.  They got to watch "Jake" while I got dinner going.  This is proof that I'm not making all this up...

I write all of this out in hopes that you will find some humor in the delight of homemaking and parenting.  The funny thing is, I consider today a really good day.  The kids were both in good moods, they played pretty well together, and I got a lot accomplished.  What's for dinner tonight?  I just texted the husband and asked him to get a Rotisserie chicken from Kroger on the way home and I am making green beans and frozen sweet potato fries.  Something quick and easy - we've got some Christmas decorating to do! :)

And because I think it's so wonderful, here's a link to a free printable from Ann Voskamp - 10 Points of Joyful Parenting

Momentary Motherhood - a great blog post by Carolyn Mahaney